It's pretty crazy how things can change in a matter of a year.
This time last year, I was depressed. It was a level of depression that I could never explain. You hear it all the time, people talking about how they suffer with depression. Some suffer from seasonal depression, others it's a mental health issue.
For me it was a deep loss of not only myself, but of something that I REALLY wanted.
I'll go into this "something" at another time.
This level of depression came from being stuck. Stuck with feelings and with emotions that I never really knew how to channel, or manage, so to speak.
Depression is real, and it's debilitating.
I was a shell of myself. I was a zombie, just going to work and sleeping.
I thought that falling in line, deeply entrenching myself into work would make things better. It only made things worse. Slowly I was fading away, disconnecting myself from people and things that I loved. Just going thru the motions of everyday life.
If you know anything about me, you know I'm a people pleaser. I want to make everyone around me happy, no matter the cost. Even if it cost me my own happiness.
I kept doing it over and over thinking it would bring me out of this black hole. A hole that I fell deeper & deeper into every minute, of every hour, of every...single... day.. It only made me angry, and the angrier I got, the deeper I fell.
It took some time to figure things out, removing the toxicity in my life, slowly I was starting to bounce back.
One thing that I learned from all of this, is you CAN lean on the people who love you. If you need help, ask for it.
But most importantly, love yourself. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Make yourself a priority. It's like the saying you can't love or make someone happy if you don't love yourself or are happy with yourself first.
I know that this is pretty deep, especially for me. It's a topic that is so taboo. Depression is real and some of the people around you are dealing with it.
Reach out to them, check in with them and tell them that you love them.