I'm not going to apologize.

Life happens.

Friends ask where you’ve been?  The response “life happens”.

You hear that saying all the time.

It’s true. Life does happen.

The last few months there has been snowstorms, sleepless nights, and changes to schedules.

In the process, my best friend’s dog passed away, my health took a slight turn and I saw my husband a total of 10 hours in the month of February.

Life Happens right?

I find myself apologizing to friends to whom we have not seen in months, some years.

It is embarrassing. A goal this year was to make more time for family and friends and we are almost 4 months into the New Year and I’ve yet to see my family.

 I miss them. Terribly. There’s some scheduled time off to get over and hug my mom, squeeze my nephews and sing horribly with my sisters very soon!

 

I need to first thank my husband Kyle.

Babe, I’ve never been so lucky to have someone get me like you do. Thank you for helping me and encouraging me. I’m so lucky.

Now to thank you. Yes YOU!

Thank you for supporting my dream.

 I don’t think ya’ll understand the level of appreciation and gratitude I have for you.

The support you have shown since day 1, believing in what I do and me. Following my passion and love for all things traffic. Seriously, thank you.

I have always had a dream to start a podcast, and I did it. It’s taking off and it’s all because of you. It’s a love of communication, to make sure you get the info YOU need. 

The passion for traffic has always been there, it started when I moved here. This podcast is another outlet outside of my work with TV and radio.

Honestly, I was scared to start it.

More so worried what others would say, or what they would think. Will people listen to it? Will they like it and subscribe to hear me talk about something they HATE?

I was tired of letting fear of the unknown hold me back. Therefore, I did it.

Currently reading Rachel Hollis “Girl, Stop apologizing” and it is helping me embrace a new feeling.

I’m tired of holding myself back. I will no longer apologize for working as hard as I do, continuing to build my brand.

For years you have followed me, trusted me to be your source for traffic. I’m so very grateful for that!

My promise to you: I will never let you down, not now, not ever.


What a Year!

2017 was one hell of a year.


It all started with the unknown.

Here I was unemployed, lost, depressed and just couldn’t find myself.  I have dealt with depression most of my life and have been able to manage it. This time was something that I just couldn’t pull myself out of. Kyle did everything right. He threw my 40th birthday party in hopes that this would make me feel better. While it numbed the pain temporarily, I found myself right back into a hole only a few days later.

I think what made me so depressed was the fear of the unknown. I had just lost something that I loved so much - working with some people that I cared a lot.  The fear was real. Would I ever bounce back? Will I land on my feet? Is it time to change gears when it comes to my career? These questions kept me up at night and clouded my judgement.  It was the constant support from my husband Kyle, my family, and all of you who kept me going.  After a few days of soul searching,  I picked myself up and got back on the horse. I spent hours applying to jobs in different fields, taking risks and hitting the pavement harder than I ever had before.  In hindsight, this was a very BIG blessing.

I lost a LOT of me in the last few months of 2016. I was so buried into work that I lost the work/life balance.  I would eat, barely sleep, and work. There was no time for fun. Kyle and friends would consistently ask me to go do things and all I could say was “I’m working."


This year I spent a lot of time re-establishing work/life balance and what makes me happy.

What is it that makes ME happy? It’s the old saying that you have to be happy and love yourself before you can love others.  I reconnected with friends and pounded the pavement searching for something in my field where work would never feel like working.  Most importantly, I spent more time with my step daughter and husband.  Things that made me extremely happy.  As for loving me, still working on that.

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2017 brought a new job. Or should I say jobs? KIRO 7 asked me to come on as freelance/fill-in back in April. KIRO Radio approached me in May to come on and do the same. In September, I signed a contract for both stations and I’m back to loving work.  Both  stations have some of the most amazing, talented people and I’ve never been happier. I’m appreciated and respected.  It’s a beautiful thing when I get to do 2 things that feed my passion: TV traffic and being back in a radio studio.

There have been several other high highs this year. One of my dearest friends had her first child. While she was very quiet about her journey, she finally opened up with her struggle to have a child. It’s a journey that many people go thru. It’s painful to watch your friend go thru the roller coaster of trying to have a baby. I prayed for her every day.  The great news is that her daughter was born earlier this month. While I have not been able to see her yet (we’ve had the plague run thru our home and continues to do so), I will be there soon to snuggle with her and give her some “Aunt Tracy” treatment.

Another high has been watching my step daughter come into her own. Finding her independence and mimicking her dad. She’s quite witty and super sharp. I love her more and more each day! I’m excited to be a part of her life and watch her continue to develop into quite the young woman.  

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This also brings me to my husband.

We have had some fun trips this year. The one that I love the most is our annual fishing trip. While I did miss a few trips this year with him since I was working freelance, the one trip for our anniversary will always be my favorite. Kyle grinned and beared it when asked to go do random things this year from Zoolights, concerts, and social gatherings that were more than out of his comfort zone.  He collaborated with friends to throw my 40th birthday party. He played in a summer softball league where I've held deep friendships for over 12 years.  He’s been amazing this year and I fall more in love with him every single day.

There were some low lows too.

Friends got divorced, friends/family passed away, and my best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer.

I know that you’ve seen the posts and pictures with her. What you don’t know is the history about our friendship.

We became fast friends thru the world of social media.  She has been there thru bad break ups, loss, and love. She has become like another sister to me.

When she was diagnosed this summer, I was crushed.  What was just a doctor visit for spider bites turned into a mammogram, which turned into a biopsy, and then the news.  While it wasn’t what she or anyone expected, she has taken on this horrible cancer head on.

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Strong is an understatement when it comes to Elaine. Superwoman is more like it. How she has managed composure thru this, I honestly don’t know.  I’ve seen the tears, seen the fear, and will continue to stand by her in this journey. She has been thru the worst when it comes to the chemo and has four of her 16 treatments left. Up next up will be radiation!

I’m proud of her more than I can put into words.


2017 has brought some challenges, but it’s also brought some amazing moments. While I’ve learned a lot about myself this year, I’m excited to learn more in the years to come.

Here’s to you friends!  Thank you for lifting me up for the 1st part of this year while I was at my lowest. I appreciate you following me thru this thing called a career and being great friends!

 

Let's get real for a moment...

It's pretty crazy how things can change in a matter of a year.

This time last year, I was depressed. It was a level of depression that I could never explain. You hear it all the time, people talking about how they suffer with depression. Some suffer from seasonal depression, others it's a mental health issue.

For me it was a deep loss of not only myself, but of something that I REALLY wanted.

I'll go into this "something" at another time.

This level of depression came from being stuck. Stuck with feelings and with emotions that I never really knew how to channel, or manage, so to speak.

Depression is real, and it's debilitating.

I was a shell of myself. I was a zombie, just going to work and sleeping.

I thought that falling in line, deeply entrenching myself into work would make things better. It only made things worse. Slowly I was fading away, disconnecting myself from people and things that I loved.  Just going thru the motions of everyday life.  

 If you know anything about me, you know I'm a people pleaser. I want to make everyone around me happy, no matter the cost. Even if it cost me my own happiness.

I kept doing it over and over thinking it would bring me out of this black hole. A hole that I fell deeper & deeper into every minute, of every hour, of every...single... day.. It only made me angry, and the angrier I got, the deeper I fell.

It took some time  to figure things out, removing the toxicity in my life, slowly I was starting to bounce back.

One thing that I learned from all of this, is you CAN lean on the people who love you. If you need help, ask for it.

But most importantly, love yourself. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Make yourself a priority. It's like the saying you can't love or make someone happy if you don't love yourself or are happy with yourself first.

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I know that this is pretty deep, especially for me. It's a topic that is so taboo. Depression is real and some of the people around you are dealing with it.

Reach out to them, check in with them and tell them that you love them.

Those words can really make a difference, I know that they did for me.