2017 was one hell of a year.
It all started with the unknown.
Here I was unemployed, lost, depressed and just couldn’t find myself. I have dealt with depression most of my life and have been able to manage it. This time was something that I just couldn’t pull myself out of. Kyle did everything right. He threw my 40th birthday party in hopes that this would make me feel better. While it numbed the pain temporarily, I found myself right back into a hole only a few days later.
I think what made me so depressed was the fear of the unknown. I had just lost something that I loved so much - working with some people that I cared a lot. The fear was real. Would I ever bounce back? Will I land on my feet? Is it time to change gears when it comes to my career? These questions kept me up at night and clouded my judgement. It was the constant support from my husband Kyle, my family, and all of you who kept me going. After a few days of soul searching, I picked myself up and got back on the horse. I spent hours applying to jobs in different fields, taking risks and hitting the pavement harder than I ever had before. In hindsight, this was a very BIG blessing.
I lost a LOT of me in the last few months of 2016. I was so buried into work that I lost the work/life balance. I would eat, barely sleep, and work. There was no time for fun. Kyle and friends would consistently ask me to go do things and all I could say was “I’m working."
This year I spent a lot of time re-establishing work/life balance and what makes me happy.
What is it that makes ME happy? It’s the old saying that you have to be happy and love yourself before you can love others. I reconnected with friends and pounded the pavement searching for something in my field where work would never feel like working. Most importantly, I spent more time with my step daughter and husband. Things that made me extremely happy. As for loving me, still working on that.
2017 brought a new job. Or should I say jobs? KIRO 7 asked me to come on as freelance/fill-in back in April. KIRO Radio approached me in May to come on and do the same. In September, I signed a contract for both stations and I’m back to loving work. Both stations have some of the most amazing, talented people and I’ve never been happier. I’m appreciated and respected. It’s a beautiful thing when I get to do 2 things that feed my passion: TV traffic and being back in a radio studio.
There have been several other high highs this year. One of my dearest friends had her first child. While she was very quiet about her journey, she finally opened up with her struggle to have a child. It’s a journey that many people go thru. It’s painful to watch your friend go thru the roller coaster of trying to have a baby. I prayed for her every day. The great news is that her daughter was born earlier this month. While I have not been able to see her yet (we’ve had the plague run thru our home and continues to do so), I will be there soon to snuggle with her and give her some “Aunt Tracy” treatment.
Another high has been watching my step daughter come into her own. Finding her independence and mimicking her dad. She’s quite witty and super sharp. I love her more and more each day! I’m excited to be a part of her life and watch her continue to develop into quite the young woman.
This also brings me to my husband.
We have had some fun trips this year. The one that I love the most is our annual fishing trip. While I did miss a few trips this year with him since I was working freelance, the one trip for our anniversary will always be my favorite. Kyle grinned and beared it when asked to go do random things this year from Zoolights, concerts, and social gatherings that were more than out of his comfort zone. He collaborated with friends to throw my 40th birthday party. He played in a summer softball league where I've held deep friendships for over 12 years. He’s been amazing this year and I fall more in love with him every single day.
There were some low lows too.
Friends got divorced, friends/family passed away, and my best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I know that you’ve seen the posts and pictures with her. What you don’t know is the history about our friendship.
We became fast friends thru the world of social media. She has been there thru bad break ups, loss, and love. She has become like another sister to me.
When she was diagnosed this summer, I was crushed. What was just a doctor visit for spider bites turned into a mammogram, which turned into a biopsy, and then the news. While it wasn’t what she or anyone expected, she has taken on this horrible cancer head on.
Strong is an understatement when it comes to Elaine. Superwoman is more like it. How she has managed composure thru this, I honestly don’t know. I’ve seen the tears, seen the fear, and will continue to stand by her in this journey. She has been thru the worst when it comes to the chemo and has four of her 16 treatments left. Up next up will be radiation!
I’m proud of her more than I can put into words.
2017 has brought some challenges, but it’s also brought some amazing moments. While I’ve learned a lot about myself this year, I’m excited to learn more in the years to come.
Here’s to you friends! Thank you for lifting me up for the 1st part of this year while I was at my lowest. I appreciate you following me thru this thing called a career and being great friends!